I was born into a large non-religious family, the last of
thirteen children. Living in the country in the late 1960s, there was no electricity or running water. The river which ran
in front of the house was our mainstay. I learned to fish, swim and canoe in that same river. My childhood days were the happiest
(11yrs). I was carefree.
I left home early (days shy of my 12th birthday) to attend high school in the suburbs because
there was none near home. Culture shock, being away from my parents, living with a brother, his wife and child and a few negative
experiences with them led to my withdrawal within my shell. A shell I remained in until my conversion many, many years later.
I was taught evolution in high school. I remember one day my best friend and I debating evolution versus creation.
I was the evolutionist.
I met my future husband in high school. It was from him that I received my first Gospel tract.
Still, it made no sense to me because I was an atheist/agnostic. I was exposed to eastern beliefs and Islam as a child. Even
then I recognized something wrong with religion. Why would a God who lacks nothing want offerings of flowers or food, etc?
My husband was a Catholic but he had a belief system of his own. He embraced Rastafarianism, witchcraft and eastern
My abusive marriage ended predictably. However, it was while I was married that I one day became distinctly
aware of the existence of God as a Person(ality) and that it was possible to actually KNOW Him. This was a rude awakening
for me because it made a few things clear to me. 1. I was accountable to this God. 2. I knew I had done bad things. 3. I knew
there was a hell and judgment. 4. I didn't think this God wanted anything to do with me, except to see me in hell. 5. I knew
I needed to be saved from this inevitable hell. 6. I knew I needed forgiveness. 7. I was terrified of dying because death/dying
meant facing God and I knew I wasn't ready.
Once on my own I set out to seek the truth for myself. I had looked at
Christianity. I had read the Old Testament, the four Gospels and the Book of Revelation. The letters of the Apostle Paul seemed
to be the writings of one man's opinion. The church didn't seem to be any better either. I looked at Hinduism where I found
a lot of human knowledge and enlightenment but I couldn't find anything about death, hell and judgment or forgiveness, because
that religion believes in re-incarnation (until one gets it right [works], then they escape the cycle). I rejected re-incarnation
because I had no intention of returning to this hell-hole called earth.
I kept searching, looking. I was open to all
truths. I looked at Islam but the Qu'ran made no sense to me. Buddhism taught reaching the state of Nirvana. It did not teach
the existence of God. Mormonism taught that God was once a man. As man is, God once was, and as God is, man will become. The
book of Mormons made no sense either. The Jehovah Witnesses came to my door too. They couldn't answer some of my questions
so I moved on.
I kept looking, searching. I was looking for THE TRUTH and nothing but so help me God. I had no intention
of settling for anything less than the ABSOLUTE truth. I don't think I could have even if I wanted to. I had a deep desire
for TRUTH. I love truth and despise lies with a passion.
Then I met Ray. It was from him that I first heard about the
Person of The Holy Spirit and the music of Keith Green. I read the book on Keith's life, "No Compromise". That, coupled with
the lyrics from his music awakened a deep hunger and thirst in my heart for God. I wrote to Keith's ministry and ordered the
tracts they offered. (For free downloads of the tracts visit www.lastdaysministries.org and follow the links). Those tracts
were like sermons on paper. Challenging, convicting and comforting. For the first time in my life I began to see the TRUE
Nature and Character of God.
Then Gary crossed my path. Gary, a drug, alcohol and tobacco addict, and self-proclaimed
"Sinner". Gary preached. He had a pure gospel. He preached a gospel I have yet to hear from a pulpit. Gary preached and I
received. I came under great conviction. I felt the burden of my own iniquity and I couldn't bear it.
I had to surrender
my life completely to God. I didn't want it anyway. It was a life filled with failure and sin. But I was afraid. All my life
I had been lied to and abused by the people I had loved and trusted the most. Now I was expected to put my life into the hands
of someone I couldn't even see. I was fearful, even though that someone was The One. I had blamed God for the demise of my
marriage. Now I was shown that I was wrong to blame God. I cried for days. Tears of (Godly) sorrow, repentance. I told the
Lord I was sorry for blaming Him. I told Him I didn't want this life. Then it happened.
When I literally surrendered
all to Him. I thought surely I would die now. Instead, I received the indwelling Christ - The Holy Spirit. A very intense
period of communion with the Lord in His presense followed.
I was very conscious of the presence of both the Father,
and the Son making intercession on my behalf, while the Holy Spirit worked on me to restore and renew my spirit. As my sins
were brought to rememberance (by the Spirit) and I acknowledged them in their presence, I received pardon.
next few weeks, the tears kept coming. This time they were tears of healing. The Lord spoke to my heart words of comfort and
reassurance. He ministered such words of comfort and grace (immense and underserved respect), that I felt incredible peace.
A peace I never knew existed. I felt clean. Brand new. And I didn't want to stay here any longer because I was afraid
that if I continued here I would sin and grieve the Holy Spirit away and I didn't want to do that. Every morning I would wake
up and thank Him that I was alive. Then I'd turn around and ask, "Why am I still here?"
That was February 1996. By
April, 1996 I was volunteering with the Salvation Army. I have been in prison ministry since October, 1999. The Lord leads,
I follow. My season in prison ministry is winding down. This website is my next project, my full testimony will be published
in the form of an e-book soon. I look forward to whatever the Lord has in store for me to do. I serve my God with fear and
trembling. The Apostle Paul said, "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling." Funny how Paul's letters seem to be the
most intellectual I've ever read now, :o). I no longer see them as one man's opinion.
And while the church is full
of iniquity (there are many who think that they are saved and are not), I have some Christian brothers and sisters with whom
I fellowship. I would go crazy if I didn't have my fellow believers to share the Love of Jesus with. We uphold each other
in this cruel world we live in. Trying our best to reach others with the Gospel of Christ. I don't understand how people can
live without Jesus. When I was living without Him, I was really dead. Now that He lives in my heart, for the first time in
my life I AM alive. I have a peace in my heart that is beyond comprehension.
Life is still hell down here. We live
in a body that gives us fits. People around us want to steal our joy and peace. But I tell ya, we have a hope and a future
that no one can take from us. Seeing our Lord face to face and spending eternity with Him. What a future!
I do not know you dear Reader. I do not know what was done to you or what you have done to others. God knows. If today you
would humble your heart before God and acknowledge your sins and turn from them, He will forgive you. He delights in this.
The one thing God will never do is make that choice for you. He gave you the ability to choose so that you can come to Him
freely of your own will.
Maybe you are bitter at Him, like I was, for what was done to you by others. Just know that
even after you forgive them, the ones who hurt you won't get away with it. Give them over to God, He will avenge you. How
do I know this? God said, "Vengence is mine, I will recompense (repay)." That is a sure promise you can take to the bank.
The question is, will you believe God, today? "Now is the day of Salvation, now is the day to repent." Tomorrow may
never be yours. It is written, "There is no salvation in the grave." If you live a life without a thought or care towards
God, what makes you think that after you die you will suddenly develop this passion for God and His righteousness? Will you
be comfortable in heaven, if you are uncomfortable about God and the things of heaven now?
"Be not deceived, God is
not mocked. Whatsoever a man (person) sows, that shall he reap." The choice is yours. Choose wisely. So you will have no regrets
throughout eternity. You want to be able to stand before God on that Great Day, Judgement Day, without shame and with great
joy. That should be your one goal in life. The salvation of your soul. Where do you want to spend eternity?
important decision you will have to make in life, is what you will do with Jesus. Do not be afraid. I learned that my fear
of punishment from God kept me from trusting Him. That and the lies about His true Nature and Charracter had kept me from
trusting Him. Satan is a liar. He accuses us before God and he accuses God before us, to create strife between God and us.
He succeeded in the Garden of Eden and he is still succeeding.
Jesus came and went and left us the Spirit of Truth
so that we may know the Truth that will set us free. I set out to seek the truth and when I found It I was set free by It.
The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth. He reveals God's truths to us. That is how we know that God's word is sure and true.
His written Word and His living Word - Jesus.
Truth is a Person and His name is Jesus.